SP #8

(Since I’m in between Bible study semesters, I thought I would take advantage of the time and finish up Sacred Parenting. I’m also being more intentional about reading in 2012, so I hope to use that time as well. As I was looking back, I didn’t see Chapter #7: Burning Love. I’m going to do Chapter #8 for now and maybe I’ll find #7 later.)

Chapter #8: The Glory behind the Grime

Speaking about finding oneself in the most undignified positions imaginable… “The positive spiritual benefit is that it slowly transforms us from valuing the superficial allure of appearance and helps us focus instead on the influential aspect of meaningful relationships.” No kidding!

“Parenting in particular wakes us up from our self-indulgence and invites us to get involved in something bigger than adventure and even greater than glamour – the shaping of a human life and the destiny of an eternal soul.”

“…for some time this is how I am, blown this way and that, careening around like a crazy, febrile gauge trying to find north.” …and this is why becoming a parent has been the most challenging adventure in my life…keeps me in a place I work hard NOT to be in…and there is where I depend on Christ the most.

“Having been in lowly situations and having done less than glamorous work ourselves, …we are set free to notice those whom others ignore. We’ve awakened to the fact that glamour misleads and that worldly “significance” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Whatever it takes so I “notice those whom others ignore”…whatever.

SP #6

Chapter 6: Vicious Vulnerability

"The insidious thing about parental cowardice is that, in the name of protecting, it wounds."

"The process of parenting does two simultaneous yet contradictory things: It gives us unparalleled power, while also making us nakedly vulnerable." Are you vulnerable? Do you allow yourself to be? Is it a choice?

"Fear...it makes us worry about the evil that might happen, and, when we're focused on that, we grow blind to the great good that can result. It's not just shortsightedness, it's pessimisticsightedness-vision obscured by worry, blurred by fear." Been there. Done that. Glad I know the name for it, so I can stay away.

"courage doesn't always get rewarded with success"

"...act courageously, regardless of how afraid you may feel. And when we step out in faith, we allow God to shape our souls in ways that will develop us far beyond the parenting part of our lives." Good stuff right there.

Prov 3:25-26....

²⁵ Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
²⁶ for the LORD will be at your side
and will keep your foot from being snared.

"...for the sake of the kingdom, we have to despise apathy more than we fear failure."

SP #5

Chapter 5: Joy!

I started this chapter pretty confident in my "joy" level, but I was curious to read what he had to say. Well, by the end of the chapter, I realized I needed some work in this area too.

• I really liked this prayer he shared...."God, thank you for the way you're working in my daughters' lives. Thank you for how I see you sanctifying my son. Thank you for the joy of living with my children. Thank you for the privilege of getting to spend my life with them."
• I wish I got this when I was still a child... "no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth" -John
• Since having Rileigh I have dealt with more fear, then ever before. This is good for me..."If our heavenly Father doesn't model his care by showing obsessive fear for us and constantly harping over our failures, why should we build our relationship with our children on such a worthless foundation?"
• Here's more on the fear thing. I totally get this! "(praying with gratitude) has given me a new perspective. When I prayed only for their protection, I had to fight off fear. When I prayed merely for God to change them, I list sight of their strengths. Thanking God for them and specifically meditating on those qualities in their lives for which I am grateful has given me a much greater appreciation for the privilege of living with these children."
• Good scripture he highlighted....Romans 16:19, 2 Corinthians 7: 4, Philippians 1:3-4, I Thessalonians 2:20, Philemon 7
• "One of the greatest gifts a parent can give to his or her children is to enjoy them, to cherish them, to laugh with them, to give them the satisfaction that we feel so very thankful to walk this life with them."
• Giant note-to-self... "Families start to break down-and marriages often break down, for that matter - when we stop enjoying each other. There is a place for discipline, sacrifice, commitment, and perseverance; but an equally important place exists for enjoyment."
• In my current season, I put just about all of my time, effort, and energy toward my girls and this is why I am so torn about them getting older...I hold them so dear, so little, so innocent..."It's a natural principle of life that the more time, effort, and energy we put into our family, the more we hold it dear."

SP #4

Chapter 4: Seizing Heaven

• "Many of us don't actively rebel against God. We don't shake our fist at him or malign his name - but we do ignore him. We get too busy to listen. And that offends him just as much as refusing to obey."
• "We are a prideful people by nature, and pride keeps telling us we don't need God to handle the situation at hand. Listening to God provides the true test of our humility. Humble people listen; prideful people never seem to have the time to wait on God."
• "...listening...moves us from merely a human-centered faith of willful obedience and timeless principles, and ushers us into cooperating with God as he actively moves upon his world...It is one of the ways that we can "seize heaven" and invite God's presence into our lives."
• "How might kids find strength and warning and guidance and inspiration if their parents would glean insights from the God who created them, from the God who knows their thoughts, from the God who knows their inner struggles and who hears every conversation they have with their friends?"
• "True listening is an active discipline."
• "Safeguards of listening..." 1) aligns with Scripture 2) follows common sense 3) other believers to help discern
• "...listening is an active choice of love, its greatest enemies are apathy and busyness."
• Do less and listen more.

"It is inconceivable to think that God would give us so much to do that we can no longer spend extended time with Him" -Gordon Smith

• "Listening doesn't detract from our service; it empowers it."

Oh man, this entire chapter spoke directly to me. I was starting to think I should just copy and past the entire chapter here, but I refrained. I am a "busy" personality...and it usually is busy doing good things. This is under the same umbrella as assertive, determined, and hardworking, but being "busy" is a weakness to those positive aspects. Close behind that is my pride...too prideful to go slow and listen. I know the answer now and that's the bottom line...black and white. Since having my girls, I have began to practice the Scripture "BE STILL and know that I am God." Being "still" FIRST and INTENTIONALLY. I desire to have my eyes and heart open, so that I may continue to be intentional in this discipline.

SP #3

Chapter 3: The Gold behind the Guilt

• "Parenting is a complex game, infinitely more difficult than chess, yet we often have to play it when we don't feel that we're at our best."
• "..accept the fact that parenting demands skills (of me) that I don't possess. It requires an understanding and wisdom that (I) lack."
• I really "get" this... "It dawned on me that not only am I not fully qualified to parent, I also have to admit that sometimes - out of weariness, distraction, or whatever - I don't even live up to my own capabilities. I'm less than my best, even though I realize my best isn't good enough!"
• Wow, this is good..."we are shepherding image bearers of the Creator God"
• So true, so true..."...we tend to take too much credit for kids who turn out good, and too much blame for kids who turn out bad."
• "...focus my efforts on introducing my kids to God, even using my own failures and inadequacies as compelling causes for my children to find their refuge in him."
• "It is my job...to model my own need for God's mercy and to demonstrate how God can use even sinful people to accomplish his aims."
• "Micah 6:8...'love mercy.' Micah doesn't tell us to merely "demonstrate" mercy or to "discipline ourselves" toward mercy; he tells us to fall in love with it!"..."Those people who love mercy are not thankful merely for the mercy they have received; those who love mercy are also eager to show mercy to others. Like God, they want to forgive, they feel eager to forgive."..."Mercy is the defining principle of their lives."
• "Where we see weakness, God sees humility. Where we see messes, God sees intent. Where we see failings, God sees motives."

SP #2

Chapter 2: The Hardest Hurt of All

"Sunshine without rain is the recipe for a desert." - Arab Proverb

• "Sacred parenting matures the parent by inviting us to choose service and character for our children over pain-free living."
• "Safe, compliant kids - with an empty core...Instead of virtue we talk about accomplishment...seeking happiness over holiness."
• "I want them to see the value in taking a risk, in overcoming challenges that at first seemed too big to manage, in learning how to rebound from failure without giving up."
• "In what we stress with our children, we reveal the true passion of our own hearts."
• "Main thing" of parenting...."praying, working and striving for our children's salvation"...and they "will become servants of the gospel of Jesus Christ."
• Ask your child..."What do you think your daddy and mommy feel most passionate about?"..."If the gospel doesn't come to mind, they may have picked up that we really care about avoiding embarrassment over their behavior, having a clean house, getting them into the best schools, or having a straight-A report card to boast about in the Christmas letter."
• "Our kids probably best reveal whether or not our hearts are mirroring what God desires us to be."
• "Mimic your heavenly father, who courageously allowed his Son to suffer, knowing their relationship would survive."
• "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3
• I do not wish away the parts of life that were hard.
• "I need to allow my kids to face challenges, failure, rejection, and pain, and then teach them to use these seemingly negative events to fuel their sense of mission and to foster their dependence on God." This is my prayer.

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SP #1

Started a new book...Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. Our small group just finished the Sacred Marriage study by him. I'm borrowing the book; therefore, I can't mark in the book. So I plan to make some notes/reflections here.

Initial thoughts...I LOVE my girls more than words can say. This is my life and I wouldn't want any other way....because...I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this is where I'm suppose to be and I don't want to be any where God doesn't want me...regardless of how difficult it can be. Bringing Reagan into the world was like-changing, to say the least. The adjustment was vast and oh so difficult at the time. I HAD to be selfless...my needs, my agenda, my desires, my goals had to be adjusted. I love how God used that season in my life to mold me to who I am today and where I am today. I believe as Reagan got older, I began to adjust to the different lifestyle. I picked up my own agenda again and ran less by God. However, being her mom continues to bring me back to Christ's love for me.

We are so blessed to have our sweet, sweet Rileigh now. (Side note....carrying and delivering my babies really wasn't that bad, but nursing and adjusting to a new schedule is hard for me. It is true...God won't give us more than we can handle. :) ) She is such a good baby. Her needs are quite simple. It is all going by so quickly. Although, this season is really hard at times, I still want it to slow down. Go figure!

I get weary of doing. Sometimes I think I just want to sit at the computer and read blogs, lay by a pool, organize spaces....just do what I want to do when I want to. That would be too easy...too selfish. I am called to die to myself daily...to serve others...to love others more...starting with my family. So, I pray a lot more now. In moments when this control freak feels out of control or this former-perfectionist can't complete a task up to par, I just pray. (sometimes I laugh and/or cry too) I KNOW God knows the desires of my heart. I KNOW he has my best interest in mind. I KNOW he has plans for my life. I KNOW this is not about me. I KNOW these things to be true.

I want to be a better person, a better mom, a better daughter, a better friend, etc for them. It is inevitable....they will observe me in every area of my life and so what do I want them to see? I will influence them. But in what way? How do I want this to go? I have a choice...daily, hourly, moment by moment. The responsibility is overwhelming because I am such a fallen person. My deepest prayer and desire is that Christ shines as bright as ever through me...so they will see HIS face through me. I pray that I will lead them closer to the Father. That they too, will BE STILL and KNOW that HE IS GOD.

Chapter 1: Papa God

"If it was going to be easy to raise kids, it never would have started with something called labor." -Anonymous

"It is in families we are broken and it is in families that we are healed." - Carl Whittaker

"Dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." 2 Corinthians 7:1

• I seem so big to my kids now, when I know so little. Yet when I am more experienced and know more, I will seem so small to them.
• "The process of raising children requires skills that God alone possesses...parenting regularly reminds us of our absolute humanity. We do not love perfectly, as God loves. Our ability to relate, to understand, and to build intimacy comes up short in a way that God's does not." So true! Well put!
• "Why have children?"
• "We called to raise children who will love God and obey his commandments....for the glory of God."
• "When we don't understand the purpose of parenting, the process becomes tedious."
• Not how proud my children make me, but how faithful I've been to the duties God has given
• "Many of us are so tempted to focus on purifying our children that we neglect our own spiritual growth." (See 2 Corinthians 7:1)
• God-centered parenting vs. child-centered parenting
• My own spiritual quest must drive my parenting. "Unfinished or neglected spiritual business inevitably works its way out through our relationships in a negative fashion: we become more demanding, more controlling, more intolerant, more resentful. Our spouses and our children cannot quench the God-given spiritual hunger in our souls. When we neglect God, we ask our marriage and our parenting to become stand-ins for God-something they were never designed to do." Oh man!